An Ear For The Crowd

Many people I know are scared of public speaking. So they go to Toastmasters or on presentation skills courses.

There are plenty of role-models in the public speaking arena: politicians, preachers & poseurs.

Fewer people are worried about their listening skills. Which is odd - because most of us will do more listening in the course of a day than public speaking. And most of us are pretty bad at it.

So who are our great public listeners? As listening tends to be a private & personal activity, there aren't that many.

There are plenty of entertainers masquerading as interviewers.

However, there are a few that do it well. Denton has his moments. As, in a very different way, does Parkie.

There situation is unnatural in that they are not just listeners but intermediaries on behalf of an audience (some of whom are present in the studio and most of whom aren't). But there are some things that carry over.

One critical issue is attention. With a good listener, you know that this person is listening to what you say. Now some recommend that 100% attention is critical. However, it is possible to "over-attend" to someone. Some people do not actually like eye contact. I am odd in that I find it very difficult to share potentially embarrassing information over the phone (altho it's less difficult in person) - I prefer using instant messaging if possible.

Another is silence. Silence can be scary in conversations. But it can be a good thing. It's s sign to the speaker that the listener is paying attention - and is happy to wait for them to find the words they need to say. I think we need to have silence practice more regularly.

Which reminds me of a Steve Wright joke.