I hate competitions

Gav is publicising a competition for the Bargain Queen. Now I like Gav and Mr & Mrs Bargain Queen. But I really don't like competitions.

So here are some comments. Scattered to the wind like dandelion seeds.

• As noted, blokes really want to get this over and done with. We don't want a 20-hour immersive experience. We want our female partners to be happy. They tend to have low expectations anyway so if we meet those, job done.
• We want simple advice. No complicated decision trees or simulations.
• "If she likes this, then she'll love this too" is a fantastic starting point. And possibly ending point.
• Anything that can amplify the illusion that we made an effort is good. Some form of (non-naff) personalisation is good.
• We value but do not trust the opinions of other women. We trust but do not value the opinions of other men.
• We genuinely love these women we are buying presents for. And if we don't, at Christmas we'll lie to ourselves that we do.
• How do you make this experience fun for blokes? Possibly some kind of competition or a sports connection of some kind...

So for me, the secret agenda behind any "proposal" is not just getting a good present for someone but also "how do I understand this strange person in my life better"*?

*those of you who have pegged my relationship status as "presently single" can move straight to the top of the class.