Monday, January 28, 2008

they amputated my dreams

I'm in a pub on Friday night and I start talking to my urbane, intelligent, charming drinking companion about Annette's commission and disappointment in general. And I ask him what he could do if he could do anything. And he finds it really difficult to answer. And this would be OK if he was totally satisfied with his current life but I don't think he is. He finds it hard because he has lost the capacity to dream. Thinking about what else might be is too painful. Too much time owed to a career and money owed as a mortgage. There is no other reality than the one that is present and correct.

Don't make me cut off my own fantasies so I lie at wake at night with only the agony of phantom ambitions for company.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You know - your friend's comment is interesting because so much of what passes for coaching etc is predicated on knowing what you want and needing some help getting there - what happens if you don't know? If you can't dream? Or if you're afraid to?

Matt Moore said...

Well, you're a bit stuffed then I suppose. It implies that there are limits to the effectiveness of coaching - or that something else is required.